Cool Guy On The Scooter......I Salute You.

I woke up this morning with a missed call and a pending text on my phone from this super-hot chick I that I'm totally in love with, and I thought to myself........"Self.....today is going to be a wonderful day".

Just when I thought that my day couldn't get any better, I found myself at a stop light, listening to some motivational gospel music......and then it happened.
This Muffer, pulls beside me in a lime green scooter, with a matching helmet. (seriously folks....I don't have the imagination nor creativity to make this shit up)

As if that wasn't funny enough, he looks over at me like with this cocky-ass gaze, like he is driving a Maserati or something.
When the light turned green, he sped off at a whopping 30mph and looked back at me with a "eat my dust" look.
......oh by the way, did I mention that I was in a Black Crown Victoria, with pretty little Blue lights on it??????
So I just sat there at the light in disbelief at what I just saw and watched him speed off into the sun set, like the true Road Warrior that he was.

Wow......
I always wanted a scooter.........WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.
I was actually surprised that there wasn't a brown talking Dog on his back seat, with his arms wrapped around him, begging for a Scooby snack.

In that brief, 10 second window of time, that I knew the guy, I learned his entire life story.
You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to detect 3 significant details about Mr. Harley Davidson.

1. He still lives at home with his mom, who calls him by a pet name.
2. Mom doesn't trust him enough to let him drive the van.
3. The last time he saw some pussy, was the day he came out of one.

Please be careful and try really hard not to get any speeding tickets out there, buddy.

So to the Cool Guy On The Lime Green (or any other color) Scooter......I Salute You.