At what point in the relationship is it o.k. to Fart openly??

This is a great question......I'm sure you're probably wondering where the hell did I come up with this topic.

Well, I'm sitting here in the office and felt a good one coming up so I was about to get up and step outside. ( I hate farting around anybody)

My office partner (as well as most cops) however, has absolutely no problem ripping em. They actually take pride in ripping the best and loudest farts.

That got me thinking...... At some point in life, you will fart around someone you are dating or in a relationship with.

Hence the question.......At what point in the relationship is it o.k. to Fart openly??

Most of my questions are rhetorical, but not this one. I really want to know what people think about that topic.

I was trying to remember the first time I farted around my wife (girlfriend at the time).

I think it was about 1 year into the relationship. We were going to school in Knoxville and I was driving back from Memphis and she was riding with me. That's a 5 1/2 hour drive and a long time to hold a fart.

Soooo anyway, I came up with my game plan:

1. wait till she falls asleep.

2. roll down the window and wait to see if she stays asleep.

3. after about 1 min, let it out slowly.

4. wait another min and roll the window back up.

Flawless Plan Right?

So when she fell asleep Operation "Sneaky Stinky" was a GO!!

I rolled down the window.....no movement by the female indicated she was still sleep and that I should proceed as planned.

After 1 minute I began to release the Gas....

I knew it was gonna be a bad one cause I had been holding it for a while, but I didn't know it was gonna be that bad.

It was soo bad, it could have awaken the dead........and it did.

My girlfriend's head popped up like Mike Tyson gave her an upper cut to the chin.

She gave me a "What the fuck is that smell" look, but didn't say a word.

By this time, I'm rolling up the window, trying to play it off cool........

"Damn baby, there must be a dead animal on the side of the road, I better roll this window up."

The problem was, that when I rolled up the window the rest of that shit got locked in the car with us. So the smell was worse than before.

Finally she asked..."Did you fart?"

Damn!!!! I was got. No need to lie anymore. So like a little boy confessing to taking a cookie out the cookie jar, I put my head down and slowly nodded yes.

She then rolled her window down and stuck her head out for about 2 minutes. I don't think we spoke for the remainder of the trip. I was soooo embarrassed.

So Ten years later, I still try not to fart around her but it seems like every time I think I'm clear to rip one, she comes skipping happily in the room to ask me a question that she could have just yelled from the other room, and walks right into a wall of "DAMN" which usually ends that conversation pretty well. She'll text after that.

I'll leave the same way I came. With the important question of.........

At what point in the relationship is it o.k. to Fart openly??

Goldeneye