The Final Test

Throughout my life, I have learned that I have been able to notice many apparently insignificant things that others around me don't notice.
Ever since I was a small boy, I always found it strange to see birds fly in front of a speeding cars.
I wonder if you ever noticed it or not.

I would see a group of birds lined up on one of the electrical lines at the top of the phone poles.
It would be like 10 of them, just sitting up there......waiting for something.

And then when ever a car would drive by, one of them would dive towards the ground and then quickly swoop across the street, in front of the car.
At first, it didn't make since to me, but after years of watching them, I found out what they were doing.

It was a rite of passage and a way to prove who was the dominant bird in the flock.
For hours as a kid, I would watch them swoop in front of the cars trying to get as close to them as possible without getting hit.
The birds on the sidelines would chirp every time one of their brothers made it safely across.
It appeared that the birds going across the street were smaller than the birds, observing. Which lead me to believe that the dare-devils were younger, and probably trying to earn their acceptance into the flock as a grown-ass-man Bird.
This was their Final Test.

Just as with all tests in life, everyone does not always pass.
I have witnessed a number of occasions where a bird did not pass the test.
I must say........It was the funniest shit that I have ever seen.

This one time, a bird was trying to cross in front of an SUV.
I guess he mistimed it, because he was about a half second too late.
He started off like the rest of them did.....He had good form coming off the phone line. His wings were good and straight. His beak was pointed upward, ready to swoop upward.
But I guess, he held his "diving eagle" pose for a little to long, because by the time he reached the middle of the road, the truck was already there.

The damn bird went head-first into the driver side door, and all you could hear was a loud ass "THUMP".
I couldn't believe what I just saw.
I was dying laughing. I was hysterical. Like when one of those "cool kids" at school tried to show off in front of the girls and completely Busted his ass on the ground.......Yeah.. funny.

The lady slammed on the breaks and got out the car to see WTF just happened.
She looked at me like I threw a Tatering rock at her car or something cause I was laughing soooo hard.
She yelled at me "hey kid, what do you think you're doing?????"
I replied "I ain't doing shit.....But you might want to talk to that dead bird over there though"

She ran over and saw the dead bird with the broken neck and she began to cry.

Can you believe that she had a roadside funeral for that damn thing and buried it?
Well, maybe I should have told her to bury it underground, and not just cover it up........because minutes after she drove off, a cat came and ate the bird.

Needless to say........He did not pass THE FINAL TEST