It's Friday, You Ain't Got No Job, And You Ain't Got Shit To Do.....

You can't chose your family right? Blood is blood and God decided that long before you were even an erection.

However, you can chose your friends.

But what happens when you have been friends with someone so long that you are like siblings. You both were raised by both of your parents and spent all of your childhood together.

I know that blood is thicker than water......But if you put enough Kool-aid and sugar in that shit and let it hang around for some years, it can get pretty thick.

I have said all of this to bring up the topic of having friends that you grew up with, who do nothing but smoke weed all day.

Hell, it doesn't have to be weed,.....I know some of you who have friends or relatives that do all sorts of drugs all day. Meth, Pills, Crack, and Coke......Well maybe not Coke, that costs too much to do all day, but the others don't.

How do you handle that relationship?

If it was just an old friend, it would be easy to write them off, because they are doing nothing to progress themselves or their situations. But if they are a friend who is like a brother or sister to you, then it isn't so easy to write them off. They are practically, part of the family.

I have a Friend (brother from another mother) who bounces from job to job, smokes all day, and is always borrowing money for something. He reminds me of Dave Chappelle and Charlie Murphy.

He cracks me up, but damn.........N*** get a job.

What is a grown ass man doing sitting on a couch all day long, watching re-runs of Sanford & Son and the Jamie Fox show??????

I really haven't figured out if I am truly disgusted and outraged at this poor excuse of a human being.....OR if I am jealous and wish I could be over there watching Rachel Ray.

How much fun would it be to get high all day and watch the Food Channel??????

That would be like Aliens abducting you, injecting you with liquid ecstasy, and then dropping you off at the BUNNY RANCH in Las Vegas with $25,000.00 in "free-play" Gift Certificates.(wink,wink)

I called that fool up today, just to check on him. I asked him if he was doing anything today and he replied:

Homie: "Man.....It's Friday......I ain't got no job......and I ain't got shit to do...."

(without referring to the Movie Friday, because this was really his situation)

Then I chime in with:

Me: "oh, let me guess..... You finna get high today????"

Homie: "Dude, ....I'm already high.......I'm finna go swimming today....and then get high again....I'll send you a post card"

Me: "You need to quit getting high all the damn time and go get yo self HIRED"

Then that mother TATER starts singing that Bruno Mar's "Lazy Song"....Today I don't feel like doing anything.........Nothing at all.

.....And I hang up the phone.

I hate that Asshole.

Speaking of being High....This shit is funny as hell.

Hey........Where Did Everybody Go????

Last night I had one of those dreams that was straight out of a movie......But it was real...and absolutely true.

I was posted up, in the middle of "A" lobby (the main building everyone hung out in between class periods. 1 out of about 7, not including, the gyms and portable trailers...... A Huge campus) of THE Germantown High School.

I was at my favorite spot, in between the corner of the hallway and the Trophy case, next to the pay phone. (I know ya'll probably don't remember what a pay phone is now-a-day's).

It was perfect.......I could see all of the girls walk by, and more importantly, ...they could definitely see me.

Back then, we had a special click or group called P.B.U. and we were the first black unsanctioned group to ever grace the campus of Germantown High.

We acted similar to a gang, but we were far from it.

Instead of drugs....we tapped into what our peers really craved all day long........Fucking Sugar.
This was before they allowed vending machines and shit inside the schools except for the teachers lounge, where students were not allowed or welcomed. (I wonder what type of kinky shit teachers did with each other in those sacred lounges???)

So we sold candy. Completely legal, however it was frowned upon by the administration, so we had to take it underground and slang it in the allies and corners of the building to stay out of sight.
So it probably looked like we were selling a different kind of rock candy.....but we weren't.

It was a booming business. We drove all the way out to North Memphis, where we had a whole-sale buyer, who allowed us to buy in bulk without taxes, even though we didn't have a business license. Then we were able to go back to campus and sell them for retail price, which was cheap back then.......like $25 cents.
If it wasn't for our flashy tendencies, trying to impress the ladies, we could have probably paid our way through college........But Nooooooo.   It was all about living for the day, we weren't promised tomorrow.


But I have totally digressed,
Back to the dream.
So anyway, as I was posted up in "A" lobby, surrounded by all of these people I used to know and associate with on a daily basis, I pulled my year book out for everyone to sign.

When the first person came to sign my book, they wrote "Best Wishes, Stay the Same, BFF" (And YES, it was a girl).
Then she walked away and vanished.

The next person wrote "Dogs For Life 1 Love"
Then he walked away and vanished.

This continued to go on until finally, there was only 1 person left. It was me...... Not me, but it was like a twin of myself.
We looked alike (Nice looking fellow), talked alike.....It was like my reflection.
But anyway, He walked up to me and signed my year book also.
He wrote "Everyone else lied to you, but I won't. It was nice knowing you, but we will never meet again."
Then he walked away and vanished.

I felt so alone after that. I ran through all of the 7 buildings in the school looking for anybody, but no one was there.

When I awoke, I just sat in my bed and wondered what happened to everyone I used to know.
What were they doing now? Were they alive?
I couldn't get the words "we will never meet again" out of my head. I hate the word "never"....it's so permanent and I am afraid of commitment (seriously, I really am).

When I went to brush my teeth, I looked in the mirror and remember what I wrote to my self in my yearbook.
Although, I miss the old me, I'm glad that I have changed.
I will never forget the people that I have met along the way, nor do I regret my mistakes. They have all made me who I am, and without them, I would not be ME.

I wonder what other people dream about?
Do you even remember your dreams???? A few years ago, I couldn't remember my dreams at all, but now I can.......Weird.

2's

30ish and Single???? 2 Good 2B True or RED Flag?

I had the opportunity to see some of my old friends from college this past weekend and we got a chance to catch up on life.
I was surprised to learn that more than a few of them were still single. My brother is single, my cousin is single, my uncle is single, my frat brothers are single ......damn, I realized that there are a lot of people who are 30ish and still single.
We sat around and talked about if being single at our age is a rare find and to good to be true, or a RED flag that screams "Run N***, ...Run".

The majority of them wondered if women went through the same thought process that men did when they met a 30ish single person of the opposite sex.

The first thing a man thinks about when he meets a single woman in her 30's is.....
"damn, she fine.....Why is a lady like this still single????      Awwww shit, this b*** must be crazy."

  (Exit Stage Right, then Run)

It's obvious that women wonder the same about single men in their 30's. Because they start asking shit like,
"Sooooo, you're not married?   You don't have any kids?????"   Then they start trying to indirectly find out if you're gay and if you subscribe to Cosmo magazine and shop at Banana Republic or Baby Gap.

But really, it is only natural to wonder if something is wrong with them isn't it?
We have all been taught that if something seems too good to be true,,,,,  It probably is.

Statistically, the odds of finding someone in their 30's who is single, childless, no baggage from a previous marriage, and isn't crazy, controlling, abusive, or unemployed.........is slim to none.

Therefore, it makes perfect sense to be skeptical of someone you meet who is still single.

I asked a few of my friends why they never settled down, and they said that either someone broke their heart or it was too many fish in the sea and that everyone they knew who did settle down, regretted it.


[Friend:] "Of all the people you know who are married, how many of them are either miserable, depressed, going through a divorce or re-married?"

[Me: ]"A lot of them"

[Friend:] "Same here. So after seeing this trend among those around me, how much sense does it make for me to go out and make the same mistake that they made?"

[Me:] "Not much sense, if you put it like that. But you can't predict your future happiness based on other people's situations."

[Friend:] "True"

[Me:] "So you mean to tell me that you are never going to get married?"

[Friend:] "Naw, I'm not saying that. In fact, I think I am ready to settle down.....If I can find the right one. I think I have lived the single life long enough to say that I FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT." (lol)
"It's just harder to find a good, AVAILABLE one after 30 (that aint crazy as a Honey Badger on crack)"

I wondered why I used to see these 8+ star chicks with these 4+ star dudes. But now I know.
The closer you get to 30, the lower your standards get, because those 10+ star people have already been scooped and scored with.

So if you sit around waiting on your 10 star prize catch.......

Jesus might return before that happens and take you to a place where there are noting but 10 Stars, but I doubt there will be much bumping and grinding there. So whats the point of having a 10 star chick there?????? 5+ chicks usually hold better conversations anyway, and that's about the only thing ya'll will be holding up there right?????

GTP-2's

Sorry

When I awoke this morning, I was bursting with great ideas and topics to write about. The fuel that ignites the fires of my blogs is emotion (or give-a-shitness) and without it, I just am not motivated.
So anyway, filled with all of these ideas and motivation to change the world through my words....I got in my car......cranked it up.....and proceeded to drive in to work.

I can't stand that long ass drive to work every morning, because I have to go through Olive Branch where they have 7 tatering traffic lights (that are always red for ME) within a 1.5 mile area (Hwy 305 between Church rd. and Goodman rd.).
It Sucks chocolate covered balls.

Then,  Church Rd., which is built wide open.....perfect for speeding has a flipping 45mph speed limit.......Whats worse, is that people actually obey it.
Which means that they drive side by side alllllllllll the way to I-55 and won't move the hell out of my way. (insert Super-Mad Face.....with steam coming out of the ears)

So needless to say,
by the time I finally got to my blog notebook that I left on my desk yesterday, all my great writing ideas were replaced with evil thoughts of malice and road rage (disclaimer: "I am just kidding".........everyone knows that malice and road rage are NOT evil thoughts....they're natural as rain)

So sorry, no blog today.

.....or .....wait a minute.
I think I just blogged about not having a blog.
Cool beans.

So sorry about not having a GOOD blog today.
I hope your day started better than mine.

The Crazy Honey Badger....My New Idol

So these crazy people in the dispatch center, down in the Mississippi region of the Tri-State area, thought that they would brighten up my day by introducing me to this video about the Crazy Honey Badger.

At first, I was honestly like "WTF".  Who wants to watch this stupid ass shit?

But about 1.5 minutes into the video, I was hooked.

I mean, I've never even heard of a Taterin Honey Badger, and here, I'm seeing this amazing creature do these awesome acts of boldness, bravery, and pure "not given a shitness".

I'm afraid of 3 things in this world.......

1. Killer Bees

2. Snakes

&

3. Rejection

1. The Honey Badger, single handedly devoured an entire bee hive and endured sting, after sting, after sting, without so much as a flinch. Now that's a bad mother fucker tater.

2. The Honey Badger, single handedly fought the most deadly snake known to man, and not only did he survive its poison.....he took a nap, woke up, and ate that bitch.  Now that's a bad mother fucker tater.

3. The Honey Badger, is rejected everywhere he goes, simply because he's a super bad ass.......but does the badger go curl up in a corner and cry like some bitch?????      Hell No, the Honey Badger goes in there and takes what he wants.

I wish I could be more like the Honey Badger. As a matter of fact, I think I am going to go on Craigelist right now and see what's the going price for one.

I bet they make great pets.

And you thought walking in the park with your cute Sissy dog, was a good way to get attention.....

And you thought walking in the park with your Pit-Bull, was a good way to show who's the boss.....

Well I'm coming through that bitch with my Mother Fuckin (tater wouldn't do him justice) Crazy Honey Badger named Deebo and

We shuttin the whole park DOWN!!!!!!

So thank you to all my buddies in the dispatch center, down in the Mississippi region of the Tri-State area, South of the Haven, West of the Branch, and Southeast of the Lake, who have tried their best to make me smile. I am definitely smiling with my new buddy, Deebo Da Badger.

GTP-OTB 2's

Passive Observer

In most states (if not all), you are liable to be sued if you stand by and simply watch as someone slowly dies a painful and torturous death. Ironically, if you help them and hurt them in the process of saving their life, you are also liable to be sued.
I guess you're damned if you do......and you're damned if you don't. The best solution is to look around and find out how many other people are in the vicinity and then run like hell.

So my question today is weather it is wrong or right to stand by and watch a friend slowly die emotionally and spiritually? 


Initially, I was like "Of course it is wrong to stand by and watch", but after careful consideration, I came to the conclusion that you should stand there and watch them suffer.

As a friend, standing by and doing nothing might be the hardest thing you will have to do, but as a friend you MUST.
If that person on the floor fails to come to the realization on their own, that they must choose to stop dying, then they will never recover.
If you, as a friend, have to save them, then they will forever be dependent on you to always save them. They will be crippled for life, and you would have done them a great disservice.

The hardest thing that I have ever done, has been sitting by and watching my best friend die a slow and painful death. I could almost feel the same agony that he felt by watching him go through it.
He described the pain as "a root canal to the heart, without any sedation or medication".

I don't know about you, but a root canal WITH medication brought me to tears, when I had it done.

After a while though, I began to feel less sympathy for him and more pity.
Because at the end of the day, we are all responsible for our situations. We can't control other people's actions, but we can control how we respond to it.

I have tried over and over to convince my friend that he has to snap out of it, but he doesn't listen to me. He chooses to be the fool.

So I will stand by, like a good friend and watch him continue to die slowly. I may not always have a shoulder for him to cry on, but I will always have a mop and a bucket to wipe up the blood.

Take One For The Team

After my most recent post, I can't use the phrase "Take one for the team" without giving credit to where it came from. Originally, the phrase was first introduced on the Diamonds of America.....That means baseball fields.
Whenever a team was down to their last out, and needed to get their best batter up to swing, they would ask the poor sap who was batting in front of him to "Take one for the team". This meant that he was suppose to INTENTIONALLY get hit by a 90+ mph, baseball thrown by the pitcher in order to avoid getting another out and  allowing their best player to try and win the game for them.

[Side Note: It must suck to be that guy who the team asked to take the hit.  What does that say about how much(or little) they think of you????]

"Taking one for the team" is sacrifice in it's purest form. Like grade "A" cocaine straight off the Coca Plant in Colombia.......Not that watered down shit you get off the steets.

 It's like jumping in front of a bullet to save a loved one.
How many of your friends would take a bullet for you??????
If your answer is more than one, I think you are giving your friends too much credit and are in for a rude awakening if ya'll ever decide to go to the Mid-South Heritage Classic on one of the years that they start shooting in the stadium again.

The term "taking one for the team" is used less literally now-a-days.
Back in my School Daze, my friends and I always used the term quite frequently.
Every night we went out, at least one person was going to have to "take one for the team".

Women, are like lionesses.....they always hunt in packs.....never alone.

There is usually a ring leader who calls the shots and the rest of the pack, follows her lead.
Some cats in the pack are faster than the others.
Some cats in the pack are stronger than the others.
And some cats in the pack have a better sense of smell to locate the prey.
Everyone has a different strength and when combined as one group, they are amazing.

Just like lionesses, women also have different strengths from the others within their group.
But some also have Weaknesses........Big Weaknesses. Like the commonly known medical condition known as Fugly....... or in laymen's terms ...FUCKIN Taterin UGLY

So when we used to go out, if we saw a group of girls, we would approach them and engage in some friendly conversation. Within 1-2 mins, it would be easy to determine which guy or guys the Hot Chicks liked.
If you were one of the lucky ones, you would spend the rest of the evening trying to win the affection of the Hot Chick.
 If you were not, then by the rules of the "MAN LAW" you were obligated to "take one for the team".

This means that you had to entertain and pretend to be interested in the FUGLY chicks.

Like I said before, women hunt in packs, and if a guy's friends were to leave the "lucky guy(s)" alone with the female group, his chances to score a phone number, date, or the Nah Nah would drop by 77.7% (true fact)
This is why the friends must stay and occupy the ducklings, while their homie goes into mack mood.
Not only do they have to hang around, but they have to actively attempt to make sure the evil step sisters of Snow White are having a good time, because if the ducklings aren't happy, then they will turn into Jealous, Cock-Blocking, Divas, who are "all of a sudden" ready to go home.

"Taking one for the time" can consist of:
-Giving out your fake number
-Getting theirs and not throwing it away while she's looking
-Promising to call them later that evening
-Being seen in public with them
-Taking a walk with them, so your homie can have a little 1-on-1 time
-Promising to come see them the following day
-Pretending to really be listening to their story about how they almost made it on "American Idol"

Yes friends....."Taking one for the team" is the purest form of sacrifice, and only REAL Friends will do it for you.

So in parting I leave you with these questions........Are YOU a REAL friend??? Would you "Take one for the team"??????

Then go out there and Prove it !!!