Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Mr. William Earnest Henley wrote the words


"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul."

Taken from his poem "Invictus", Mr. Henley reminds us that no matter how desperate and impossible a situation my appear, if you look deep within yourself, God has given you everything you need to overcome that obstacle.

All you need have is FAITH.

Which leads me into my topic for today.....Are you afraid of the dark?

I sat in my apartment this weekend, and watched as the sun slowly disappeared beneath the tree line in front of my building. 

With all of the lights off at the time, the sun light was more than enough to brighten the entire room. Around 7:45ish, the sun was almost gone but I could still see everything in my living room, clear as day.

By 8:00, there was no sun, no light,.....nothing, but I could still see everything in my living room. 

I felt safe, secure, and comforted by the darkness. I used to not feel that way.

I started to reminisce about the days when I was a kid, and how I was so afraid of the dark.

The shadows in the room looked like gigantic monsters about to devour me at any second.

 Every noise sounded like the devil was coming to get me for stealing that ButterFingers from Kroger, and I didn't know if that hand on my ankle was my brother fucking tatering with me again, or the Real Boogie Man this time. Either way, I was probably about to piss my pants.

Mom told me that there was no Boogie Man, there were no monsters, and she had already beat the shit out of me for taking that ButterFingers from Kroger, so I had nothing else to fear in the dark.

I trusted mom, ....So why was I still afraid of the dark?

It took me years to realize that only thing that separated people who were afraid of the dark, from people who weren't was FAITH.

When you have faith, you know that nothing is going to happen to you because you are protected. Weather it's God, or your mother, you know that they aren't going to let anything happen to you. Otherwise, they would never have put you in the dark.

So back to the present day........back to my dark living room.

I finally saw things sooooo clear. I realized that there is no "darkness", there is only a dimmer bright.....

Darkness = without light

Technically, there is no such thing as without light. Everything has light, some things just need super technology to see it.

When you let your eyes slowly get adjusted to dimming light, you can see everything. It is only when someone turns the lights off without warning that you can't see without them.

So if you are in a dark place right now, just close your eyes for 30 seconds and let them get adjusted to the blackness, and when you re-open them, you will finally see as clear as day.

As for me,....I no longer fear the darkness,.....I embrace it.

The darkness fears me, for the darkness can not destroy me. All I need do, to destroy the darkness, is to flip the light switch to "on".

GTP- 2's

Battle Field

The stage is set.....You can smell it in the air.

Something is coming.....
The streets are empty, churches have shut their doors, and even the Shake Junt is closed.
It must be something big.

Silence like this can only mean one thing......It's a battle coming, and it's coming pretty fast.

In times of war there are only two options....
1. Join THIS side
or
2. Join THAT side

There is no standing in between. Not unless you much rather chose death over choosing sides.
When you stand in the middle you have 2 enemies instead of 1.
So even though you have ties with THIS side, as long as you haven't joined them in the fight, you are a possible liability, and therefore need to be eliminated. They don't know if you are friend or Foe.

The same is true if you have ties with THAT side. Although you may still be friends with them, without your pledge of allegiance, you pose a serious threat to them because you wear a different uniform than they.
 THERE IS NO NEUTRAL GROUND 

You either fight or die.

So who's side do you choose? Do you choose the side that you like the best? OR Do you choose the side that has the best chances of winning?

How you answer that questions speaks volumes about the MAN or WOMAN you are.
It reveals if you are a loyal friend or an selfish opportunist who is always looking out for #1..Your fucking Tatering self.

The is a war coming people, and you better start thinking about which side you're on....
Because THERE IS NO NEUTRAL GROUND.

The Truth Can Set You Free

Have you ever wondered why people confess?
Regardless of who they confess to,(parent, partner, preacher, or police) it's all for the same reason.


You might think that someone is an honest, good-hearted person, who has decided to stand up and accept responsiblity for a wrong that they've done, but that is incorrect. 
The truth of the matter is, that people no longer want to carry the burden of guilt within themselves. 
Guilt, is like a tiny pebble falling on a persons spirit. The length of time that a person carries that guilt, is equivalent to the height from which the pebble is dropped above your spirit. The higher up the level from which the pebble drops, the harder it lands on the spirit.


You ever had a secret that weighed you down? Remember the feeling you had the day you finally told someone your secret? That's the feeling of freedom. Thats why they say "the truth shall set you free".......even though in actuality, it will probably get your ass locked in jail, so you exchange the freedom of you conscious for the freedom of you body.

"Iron Free" My Ass

I woke up this morning at a very specific time, in order to be at a very specific place, at a very specific moment. In order to stay on schedule, I always dream about what I am going to wear the next day, while I sleep the night before (I know that sounds weird, but whenever I pick out my clothes the night before, I always change my mind in the morning, so it is a waste of time to do it the night before).

I planned on wearing my black suit, with the baby blue shirt and tie combo.
So when I awoke, I went to the closet and pulled out the outfit, and that's where things began to go bad. I noticed that my "No Iron" shirt, was wrinkled as hell.

I was pissed, b/c it wasn't wrinkled in my dream and I didn't have time to iron it. So rather than be on time with a different outfit, I decided to iron the damn "No Iron" shirt and be late.

I know what you're thinking.....why didn't I just pick a different outfit?
Well, I am the most indecisive person when it comes to picking out clothes (that's why I have to dream about it the night before). Picking an alternate combo would have taken at least 30 mins, and that doesn't include putting it on.

So to you bitch ass, lying, dress shirt company's who falsely claim that your shirt is "Iron Free", "No Iron", or "Wrinkle Free".......and it isn't......

SAUCE YOU !!!!!!!!!

I Bet You Won't

Let me take you back for a moment.

Remember back in grade school when a group of kids would dare you to do something stupid? All it took was a "I dare you".......then an.. "I double dog dare you".....then comes the big "I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU".
Now, who in the hell can turn down a TRIPLE????

Well, now lets fast forward to the present "Adult Life" you live today. Have you ever wanted or needed to do something, but were too afraid to?
Well, I'm here to say to you......."I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU"

Go ahead, pussy. I bet you won't do it.
There are times in life when you need someone to stand beside you and hold your hand......and then there are times when you need someone to stand behind you and push you into the water. It could save your life.

So I am here, to give you all out there a love-shove.
If you are on the fence about a job change, get off and make a choice.

If you aren't happy with your life, then do something different.
If you only have one life to live, then why would you spend the majority of it wondering what you want to do?

I say "Fuck that".

If you don't seize the day, then the day is forever lost, because tomorrow will always become today, but yesterday will never be anything other than yesterday.

Someone once told me about my job, that is true in life......"Make a decision....it doesn't matter if it's a good one, or a bad one.....Just make a decision. The worst thing you can ever do is NOTHING".

So I leave you with that.
I pray that I have inspired someone to do something good in their life today.

Love, peace, and KFC chicken grease.

GTP..... Downstairs

Late to my own funeral

It is a common saying among single men, that when a fellow "dick swinger" (male), is walking down the aisle to get hitched,....he is walking to his own funeral with "dick in hand" about to end life as he knows it.
I guess when you think about it.....it's almost the same thing.

They both usually take place in a church, with a preacher. The same people who are at your funeral, probably went to your wedding, and you show up to both, dressed in your best outfit, and more importantly, somebody is out of a shit load of money after both are over. Right?

I have never felt that way about marriage, but I can see their point.

Most women are nuts and it seems like God banished Satan to be forever tormented within the confines of a diamond.

***Originally, diamond rings were called demon rings, but in the late 1700's, clergy started calling them diamonds, so they could wear them too....FYI  true story***
Somehow, when a woman puts the ring on, it unleashes a demon within......Almost like when you combine baking soda with Vinegar. You put one of them by themselves, and it's all good. But the second you put them two mother f*ckers together.....All hell breaks loose.

Before the ring

After the ring

But, I digress. ..
This blog is actually about the time that I was late to my own wedding but I was explaining why some guys called it a funeral, plus, I was just giving you some background info thats all.....FYI

So anyway, I actually got married at the courthouse initially. We had a ceremony later, but the legal marriage was downtown. We had a 10:00 appointment with this judge who looked like Judge Mabalean Ephrim from TV, and she wasn't a very happy looking lady.

Put it like this, if I was facing charges in her court room, I would represent myself and save the lawyer fees, cause this lady didn't look like she was a "wrist slapper"......naw.....she was definitely an "ass-kicker" if you know what I mean.

So I was so excited about getting married that I partied all night before in celebration of this joyous occasion.
Problem was, I partied too much. I was shit faced..

I was so shit faced that I didn't hear the alarm clock go off.

It wasn't until 9:15 that I woke up and realized that I was supposed to be in downtown Memphis in 45 mins, saying "I do".
I jumped up and practically pushed my "soon to be wife" out of the bed and told her we were late....and the race was on.
We got dressed in less than 15 mins, which left us exactly 30 mins to be in front of the judge. We got in the car and headed to the city. At the first light we came to, I noticed that the gas was low. My dad always told me that when the light comes on, you got about 15 miles left in the tank. Well, the light wasn't on yet, so I kept going.

Meanwhile at the courthouse, my brother, friends, and frat brothers, were already there calling us and trying to find out where the hell we were. I asked them to stall for me and told them we were in route.
I was driving at least 110mph on I-240 and right at Parkway, I noticed that my car was slowing down and I couldn't get it to go faster. I checked the gas gauge, and the light still hadn't come on yet. So after I was stuck on the side of the highway, I realized that the gas gauge was fucking broke, and the light didn't work either.

With 15 mins to spare, I called my brother and had him come pick us up.
We made it to the courthouse about 20 mins late and I had to take a verbal "bitch-slapping" from the judge and everyone else who was waiting  on us.

I don't know what made me think about that story today. I was just driving and started laughing about it.
It may have not been the most "over the top", lavish wedding in the world,
But, one thing is for sure,
I will never forget the day I was late to my own funeral.

The Cat With The Hat

Every super hero has their trademark prop that makes them unique.

Superman had the red cape and the "S" symbol. Thor had his magic hammer. Batman......Well, I guess he just had the whole "bat thing" going on with him.

There is this super cool cat that I know who has a magical hat. Whenever he wore this magic hat, he instantly turned into the worlds most interesting man. His words turned into commandments, his moves turned into art in motion.
How could a hat possess that type of power?
One time, I saw this guy talk 5 ladies into buying "HIM" a drink.
I can't even get my girl to buy me a drink.
Have you seen that "Dos Equis" (XX)commercial, with that James Bond looking guy?

Well this guy with the hat is him.
I bought a hat like the one he has and my wife told me I looked stupid and made me take it off.
You know, maybe the reason that she didn't like it, was because the minute I put the hat on, she felt her knees get weak from the magical power of "The HAT".

 
 Damn, I can't believe I didn't realize that the hat was working it's magic. Oh well, I guess it's gone forever.....So to the cool cat, with the magic hat........We salute you.