Insanity

The informal definition of insanity is ......doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome.
hahahahahaha..,,,,
Well I guess that means that everyone is insane....right?


We all believe in hope and change......Well, at least most of us.

To believe that something or someone will change after years of being the same way is almost ludicrous.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks......

If you think that is merely a statement, then you might want to reconsider your stance.

Regardless if you believe in horoscope signs or Chinese Calender Projections, you can not deny the fact that a person is the person they will be, by the time they reach adulthood.
It's not like they will wake up one day and suddenly be completely different than the person they were the day before..........Right?

Therefore, it is insane for you to believe that your _________________....(Fill in the blank: Abusive, Selfish, Inconsiderate, Spineless, Poor Excuse of a Partner) will suddenly become this amazing person you envision them to be in your dreams. You can not change people......You can only change yourself.
If you truly accept them for who they are, then you can only blame and change YOURSELF.

If you can not come to grips with the fact that either, you have to accept your situation, or you have to cut your losses and move on, then you are doing nothing more than repeating the same actions and expecting different results.
Like I said at the beginning, that is the definition of.......INSANITY.

If you aren't INSANE.......You aren't in LOVE.
A life without love is a waste of breath...........
Donate it to someone who can use it and kick rocks.........and probably the bucket too.

(disclaimer: It was a tatering joke "kind of", I am not responsible for any attempts to end your life, just because you are emotionally unstable enough to take that last statement seriously.....*****dumbAss***)

Life is a roller coaster.......filled with ups and downs......twists and turns.......
The only thing that differentiates fear from fun, is.......FAITH.
You either have it, or you don't.

Killa B.J.

Ha....ha......
I know by the title you thought I was going to be talking about some awesome Head action....Huh?
Sorry to disappoint you, but I am talking about an old friend of mine who I recently bumped into. Me and Killa B.J. go back all the way to 1993. We used to be competitive at every thing.....basketball, collecting cards, job hours......tatering everything.
We haven't spoken in years and he called me out the blue a few weeks ago and let told me how much he enjoyed reading my blogs.
If you haven't noticed, I haven't posted a new blog in ...........I don't know,    A long ass time.
I have had a lot to write about but I really didn't feel like putting the shit out there. Killa B.J. motivated me to keep on, keeping on.......if not for myself,.........then for the people who read my shit.

So, here is the next blog.
At the corner of Winchester and Riverdale there is a homeless lady who sings and dances every day for donations to her next crack party. I saw her again today...(Christmas) and she was soooo happy to be out there performing for all of her adoring fans.
See, I was raised to take pride in what I do.......no matter what the Tater it is that I do.
If I sweep floors, then be the best damn floor sweeper that has walked the face of this Earth.

Apparently, she was raised the same way, cause home girl was dancing her ass off like she was auditioning for America's Got Talent or some shit like that.

A crackhead is like a loyal pitbull.......
They will be down for you no matter what you do.
(As long as you provide them with their life line........Crack)
Unlike drug dealers, I offer my wonderful crackheads a substance that is just as addictive as crack....Jesus Christ
I wish I had a few dollars so that I could have contributed to her next GFU session (Get Fucked Up), but I didn't. But deep inside, I knew she understood that I appreciated her performance when I stuck my head out the window and shouted........"Go Shawty......its your Birthday......Whoop .....Whoop"
How do I know????????
I don't know.....maybe by the way she took her wig off and waved it at me, screaming........."Hey Fat Daddy....Merry Christmas Baby".
But what really made me appreciate her was when I pulled up to the next light (only about 100ft away).
There was this homeless guy at the intersection looking all grimy and holding a sign saying "Homeless and Hungry".

Normally, that would almost jerk a tear (NOT) and cause me to donate to his next 40oz of beer, but after seeing the b**** at the previous light bust a move like the Jackson 5, I felt like this guy was "Gold Bricking" (Gold Bricking= putting forth the minimun effort to get by and nothing more).
From now on, If you aint putting on some kind of Broadway Stage production.......and you want me to give you some money........you are gonna be S.O.L. (Shit out of Luck).

So you can consider this a Public Service Announcement......
If you Hungry, Homeless, and Hopeless, and you want me to give you some money........
You gonna have to bust a Mother Tatering Move.
If BoomSheeka at the corner of Winchester and Riverdale can take enough pride at what she does and go "HAM" at begging by putting on a decent performance, then you need to invest a little bit of time as well.
That lame ass"need money" sign shit is sooooooo 2010.
You need to upgrade.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.......(The key word being NEW........impress me)
I know the U.S. Dollar has declined in value, but I know a few people on Third Street who appreciate a Dollar......
So If you want to stand at an intersection and hold up a sign and expect money.........
You might want to consider putting together an impressive routine.....

Otherwise, I'm taking my business to Winchester and Riverdale.

Call me what you want......but, don't you dare call me "Collect...........Bi-atch"

GTP....out

Merry Christmas......Nicka

 ......I See you BoomSheeka.......Whoop ....Whoop....If I could afford some beads, I would get you some

But times is hard.

.LOL

Coming To America

My favorite movie in the entire world is none other than "Coming To America". I mean......it was a taterin classic.
Eddie Murphy was amazing (all 3 or 4 characters he played).
So recently, I had the opportunity to go back to Africa for a visit. Getting there was no problem.....however, getting back was a true adventure.

The flight over the Atlantic Ocean is like 11.5 hours, which doesn't include the time it takes you to get to the Atlanta International air port from your respective city.
For someone like myself, who is ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), sitting still in a small chair for 11.5 hours is like being buried alive in an underground coffin......needless to say "it sucks".

My adventure back to America began with African Airport Security.
You know how Americans bitch and complain about how violated they are when they have to allow a machine to x-ray their bodies naked?????
Well over there, they don't have machines that do that..........
So they do it themselves.......BY HAND.

While I was in line about to be searched (for the 3rd time), I saw this lady in front of me getting searched....
O....M.....(Taterin)....G
I couldn't believe how thorough they were searching that woman.
I was almost compelled to start whistling and throwing out dollar bills for the hot girl on girl action that appeared to be going on in front of me.
Shit.....if she could fit a bomb in those places, she would be Houdini.

So after making it through the numerous levels of security with at least half of my manhood still in tact, I finally boarded the plane and was set to return home.
We made a stop in Accra, Ghana to pick up additional passengers, in order to make sure the airline made as much money in one flight as possible (blood suckers).

As fate would have it, the plane had some mechanical issues and after 6 hours of sitting on the runway, we were eventually deboarded and forced to leave the airport without our luggage. That means, No change of clothes, no toiletries, no phone chargers, ect.
So when we re boarded 20+ hours later, it was understandable that everyone wasn't smelling quite so rosy fresh.
It was hotter than an old school Chevy, sittin on chrome, with 1 nigga, 2 Mexicans, and 3 kilos in the trunk...........That's pretty damn hot huh? (woop-woop, there go da po-po's)

Finally, we were in the air and all was good. I had the A/C on, my headphones on blast, and endless movies playing on the private tv screens. It was a pretty cool ride back.

Someone forgot to send me the taterin memo that Memphis was covered in snow, so I was freezing my ass off in shorts and a damn Hawaiian shirt when I stepped outside terminal to hitch a ride home.

I only told you 15% of my trip, because I know you fuckers are ADD too and I didn't want to lose you. Holla at me when you see me and I will tell you the rest.

2's

Making Seven an Even Number

This is probably the 1st of my last 7 blogs. Words can be a strong weapon, and once you release them, they can never truly be taken back. Only sugar-coated and blamed on emotions.

After many traumatic situations in my life over the past year, I have finally understood what God has been telling me the whole time. There may have been times in everyones life when they knew that it was only by the grace of God that they are still here today.
In all things you do, remember this:
"Do what is right; then if men speak against you, calling you evil names, they will become ashamed of themselves for falsely accusing you when you have only done what is good. Remember, if God wants you to suffer, it is better to suffer for doing good than for doing wrong! Christ also suffered. He died once for the sins of all us guilty sinners, although he himself was innocent of any sin at any time, that he might bring us safely home to God" 1 Peter 3:16-18.

Life is too short to hold grudges against any person.
Someone who I have always held in the highest regards showed me that true power is having the power to let go.
As much as a I thought about traveling the paved road that others have laid before me, I can not be upset that I haven chosen the least traveled, as the right one.

If you can not accept responsibility for your own wrong doings then you have not acheived true maturity.
The easiest act in life is to lie......it is almost natural when you consider the nature of self-preservation.
The hardest act is to tell the truth.....and accept the consequences of those actions.

I would rather go into battle at the side of an honest coward, than that of a lying hero.
Don King was always in Mike Tyson's corner......until he got his ass knocked the fuck out.
..........On to the next one....huh?

I may not always have a bed to sleep on,,,,,,,,but I will always have a clear concious when I lay my head down....even if the floor is ice cold.

She Did It For Love

Have you ever found yourself, up in the middle of the night, for no apparent reason.......and flipping through the channels trying to find something decent to watch on TV?

If you have,......then you probably know that there isn't shit on besides info-mercials and ........more info-mercials, trying to sell you shit and tell you how fat you are......because from a marketing stand point,....only lazy fat mother taters are up at that time of night.

Well, I have found myself up at weird hours of the morning watching these depressing shows.
That is,.....until I found the animal channel.

I was watching this show about this family of wild dogs.
In the episode I watched, this mama dog had just given birth to a batch of young pups and as they got older, she had to go out and hunt for food to feed them.
She came home to find some huge predator trying to eat her babies.

Now, keep in mind that she is a fucking dog.....and the thing trying to eat her babies is like a lion.
There is absolutely, no chance in hell that she can possibly win that battle.

So, while I am sitting there watching the show.....I am saying out loud....."run stupid bitch (literally).....you can't beat a lion" ......I watched her charge at the lion in order to protect her beloved pups.
(S M H)
sure enough, he killed her almost instantly and enjoyed a buffet of wild dog and puppy chowder.

Even though it made more sense for her to save her own life and produce more babies, it was only natural that she sacrifice herself in order to protect her young.

There is nothing in the world that can replace something that you love. It is more than sentimental.....some things are irreplaceable.

If you won the lottery and had no one to share it with, it would be worthless.
So when you see people do stupid things, for people they love,.........
Know that sometimes, ......love has the capability to make stupidity disappear.
If you have ever known love, then you have known stupidity, at some point or another.

If you have not......then you haven't understood how much ignorance can be truly bliss.

Leap of Faith

Back in high school, I used to run track. Well, honestly, I really didn't do much running. I was more of a field event specialist (I wasn't that special). My most troubling event was the triple jump. Never in my life, had I ever jumped off of my right foot before, and the triple jump demanded me to jump off of it twice, before making the third jump with my dominant left one. At first I told the coach that I couldn't do it, but he saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. So I took a chance and stuck with it. Eventually, I mastered the technique and it quickly became my best event.

All that was said in order to set the foundation for today's topic.........Leap of Faith.
In life, you have to make some very important decisions.......which job to take.....weather or not to accept a promotion.......to move to a new city.....when to have kids.....when to get married....who to marry....ect.

All of these decisions require you to take a leap of Faith.
Jumping without knowing where or how you are going to land. You only have faith that you will land safely without breaking your legs.....or even worst....not land at all.

Taking the safe route and only jumping when you know that you have a safe landing spot is probably the prudent thing to do. However, I learned from the triple jump in high school, that the most rewarding jumps can be the ones that are the hardest.
I learned from life, that when you take leaps of faith and break your legs upon landing.....it takes years before you are able to walk again.....sometimes......you are crippled for life.
All from taking one huge leap of faith.

When you decide to take a leap of faith, you have to leave the mountain you jumped from behind and pray that there is water on the next mountain, otherwise, you will die a slow death of dehydration or end your misery and jump off the cliff.
So think twice before you take that leap, it could be a long way down if you miss your landing.
And the only person in the entire world you will be able to blame......will be that broke legged, mother Tater, with you in that lonely, dark, pit....YO DAMN SELF.

a moment of silence

"Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani" (MATTHEW 27 VS 46')
As Jesus was dying on the cross, these were his final words.

although some of his persecutors thought that he was calling out to the prophet Elijah, the bible defines the words as "my god, my god,.....why have you forsaken me?".

Most people in this world will never know how much people have sacrificed for them.
They only see, know, and care about what they can see.

My great grandmother, grandmother, and mother (same as all fathers), have dedicated blood, sweat, and tears so that I can enjoy freedom......true freedom;

This blog is dedicated to all of those who can understand true sacrifice........
The giving of ones self, for another.
Putting your happiness, life, love, and liberty, aside for others to be able to move on and live productive lives.

On the 10th year anniversary of 9-11,
let us take a moment of silence for all those who have lost a special person on that terrible day.

Where were you?

Where were you when it happened?

I know exactly where I was and what I was doing.
I saw every thing happen like a movie on tv. We were supposed to be watching a movie in class, but the teacher couldn't get the channel correct, because every channel was playing some action flick, filled with explosions and blasts, that the teacher couldn't change. Eventually, we found out that what we were watching wasn't a movie and told to go home and call our families.

My heart goes out to all of those family members of those people who were directly affected by these attacks.
My initial intention  in writing this blog, was to express my feelings about  recent incidents in my life........but,
at the end of the day, I must get over it and realize that my life is so unimportant in the grand scheme of life.

When people let others into their lives, they completely open up themselves to attack, scrutiny, and judgement of their short Cummings.
So when they use these things against you, you should have seen it coming.
keep your enemies close and your friends closer.

No pictures,......no quotes.....just texts, is what i have for this blog.
I have spent this past weekend watching how the family members of the lost souls of 9-11-01 have had to deal with their lost, and came to the conclusion that my petty problems are............well,
petty.
I thought my situation was so important and pressing.
I don't have the spirit to fight for such things anymore like what people think about me.

Sometimes when people go off to war and die..........the ones left behind have the gull to think that their loved ones went to die for themselves.
There is a fine line between the selfish and the selfless.
It is easy to confuse one with the other.

Most people don't think about how the women and children of those who died bravely on 9-11-01 to protect others.....probably were pissed that their loved one sacrificed themselves and their families for complete strangers.....and left them to carry a lifetime burden.
no one ever talks about that. huh?

Sticks and stones, can break the bones of giants......but words can break the heart of a
God.

Rules to Dating Your Friends Sister

Apparently, people still haven't caught on to the simple fact that THERE ARE RULES TO EVERYTHING.....AND EVERYTHING HAS RULES.

If you are going to do something, then do it right and follow the damn rules. If not, then know that there are real and sometimes severe consequences to those actions.

So let me lay this topic (again) on your Medulla Oblongata. ( you know, that part of your brain that controls your emotions.....unless you are Like the Water Boy, of course, and believe that happiness comes from ray's of sunshine.)

The topic of today's discussion is RULES RELATED TO DATING YOUR FRIENDS SISTER.
First and foremost, I would like to say that you should NEVER,,,,,,,,EVER,,,,,,,EVER,EVER, EVER, .....DATE YOUR FRIENDS SISTER.

You don't mix business with pleasure.
Business in this situation, would be your relationship with your friend.
Pleasure would have to be any relationship with a woman who you plan on Boinking.

The funny thing about human emotion, is that you have no power over who you are attracted to. No matter how hard you try.....you can not, fight, ignore, or control the desires of your mind, body and soul....you can only control how you act upon them.
Which brings us back to the topic at hand.

If you should ever find yourself in a position, where you have developed strong fellings for a brother or sister of a close friend....Then there are rules and regulations that lay out the correct protocol, for pursuing these types of relationships.
First, I would like to explain the difference between mice and men.
The only difference between mice and men is an oval shaped pair of BALLS.

There is absolutely, nothing wrong with having feelings about ya buddy's sister.
However....If you ain't got the balls to let him know, then we are dealing with a serious case of what P. Diddy has called "Bitch-ass-ness".
Assuming that all parties involved are "grown, consenting, adults",...One might argue that it is none of the older siblings business......Touche' to you.

But if it is to be a secret, love affair....Then don't go out in public!!!!!

It only becomes a problem when everyone and "Dey Mamma" hear's, see's, and knows about it.......except the over-protective, pistol-wheeling, psychopathic, brother.

To Sum up everything:
It is o.k. to date your friends sister or brother.
The rule of thumb is simply to let him/her know.

Nobody is saying that you have to ask permission!!!  The rule simply states, that you inform your friend of the situation.
Beware:.....You may have to choose 1, or loose both. That is the risk you take buddy.

"It is better to hear from the horses mouth, than to smell from the horses rear."
Goldeneye

OBTW......If you fuck Tater Up in the relationship, with his sister, he already knows your weaknesses and exactly where to hit you to hurt you the most....And if he doesn't beat the shit out of you......His dad will kick his ass for doing NOTHING...and especially your ass for doing SOMETHING.
Double Whammy.
Just saying.

Is it wrong to be what they call you??

It has been brought to my attention that I "am insatiable". For the majority of you, you are like me and had a WTF moment when you read that.
I have been called a number of things from a mean asshole to God's girft to humanity.........I've heard it all.
Except insatiable.
So I had to go look it up.
Turns out, that the word meant that I was unable to be satisfied.
Someone felt that no matter what I accomplished or what I got,....it would never be enough and I would always want more.
At first, I took this as an insult, and confused it with being ungrateful. But after further research, I was able to learn that it merely meant that I constantly needed to set new and higher goals in my life.
After my initial anger was replaced by an honest realization, that they were right, i came to form this question:
"What's wrong with that?"

Is it wrong to aim for the skies and strive to be all that you can?....
I suppose what they meant was that even after I have reached my goals, I decide that it isn't good enough and I want more.
They could not be more correct........I WANT IT ALL.

I feel like a life without purpose is a life not worth living......Contentment, to me, is death.
If you are satisfied with where you are in life, and do not wish for anything more, then you are wasting God's gift of life.
He has given you what you have....as a stepping stone to reach his next blessing.

What separtates a person who works to survive, from a person who survives to work?????  MOTIVATION.....that's what.

If working to survive is your idea of maximiziong your "one life to live" then, so be it. But as for me, I choose to travel a different path.
I feel that every goal accomplished should be followed up by a more impossible goal. It is through this method of thinking that all the greats have achieved greatness.
When others say NO, I just smile and imagine the look on their facces after I have transformed and unimaginable act, into a simple shrug, indicating that I have "been there, done that  ....(Yawn)"

Before that comment was made to me, I had no clue that I was insatiable. But now....I wear it proudly....like a Phat Azz Platinum Rolex Wristwatch baby........BAM!!!!  In yo face.

I didn't wrtite this blog to motivate myself to aim high....I have always done that.
This blog was written to let you know that it is ok to be insatiable. In fact,.....If you aren't, you are probably wasting some high quality oxygen, and I need as much as I can get. (unless you're from Pittsburg, I heard your air sucks..sorry JKIReal)

100 Blogs Later

Well, ladies and Gents,
I have finally made it to my blog, Centennial milestone.
So after 100 blogs, I wonder how much I have changed over the time.

100 blogs ago, I believe I wrote for others. Now, I write for myself.
I have invented a few words and changed a few lives along the way. (yeah, I am pretty modest huh?)

I just wanted to use this opportunity, to thank you all for keeping me motivated and encouraged.
I really want to send a special shout out to all my haters.
Thanks to you, for your negative comments and always giving me ammunition to fuel my already heated fire.
I salute you all with a smile and a middle finger.

I dedicate the words....MUFFER AND TATER....to you bitches.

I would like to thank my Wonderful Therapist, Ezra for your direction and lessons in life.(Not really, but thanks for listening to me though)
You were more than a Guardian Angel sent from God.......You were the 3rd piece of my enlightenment Triangle
Your name was Ezra,

There is a chapter in the Bible named Ezra,

and MY FAVORITE ALCOHOL IS 90 PROOF EZRA......YAY!!!

Put all 3 together....And you have a shit load of contradictions going on. (God, the Devil, and the mediator....ha.)

The last year of my life has been totally awesome.
I have weathered storms that made Katrina look like a slight breeze and survived.
The man in the mirror looks younger and stronger than ever before.
Some would say that I have become a cold and bitter individual, but that is sooooo not true.
I have merely realized that nice guys finish last, and I am a Winner (in my Charlie Sheen voice)

Life is too short to allow others to dictate who you should be.

Love the skin that you are in, and live life to the fullest.

GTP-------OUT DIS BIATCH.
MUFFERS

Holy Spirit PART 2

I was trying to find Bro. Franklin dancing on youtube when I happened to stumble upon this video right here.
I could write a thousand blogs about this 1 video, but a picture is worth a thousand words.

I really don't know what people mean on face book when they write things like "#pause"  but I think this may be one of those times they would use it........Check it out for yourself at the link below. I tried to embed it on my site but it is being a little TATER at the moment.

http://youtu.be/5BOFYmcHEIc

The Holy Spirit

Recently, I just started going back to church.
At first, I was going to this predominantly White church (I was 1 out of 5 black folks there), because it was close to me and it wasn't the traditional type of service (honestly.....it was really because it was only an hour long and they are very prompt).
The music was usually led by 1-3 singers and a guitar. Whenever the congregation really got into one of the songs, they would simply put 1 or both hands in the air and slowly wave it from side to side (not like in the rap video's more like an Aerosmith concert)
But last Sunday, I visited this Black church, which was also close to where I lived.

It had been so long since I had gone to a Black church, that I completely forgot about catching the Holy Spirit.
If you have never been to a black church and saw someone catch the Holy Spirit, then you are missing out on one of life's great wonders.

You can always sense when someone's about to get the Holy Ghost in them.
First the person on the piano or organ will slowly play those 4 famous notes seperately......Then they start to gradually speed it up until it is finally a very high tempo chanting sound.
And then out of nowhere.....Someone jumps into the middle of the aisle and begins to dance.
Well.........I wouldn't call it dancing though... It's more like someone having a seizure while they are standing up. Then they start kicking and throwing up their hands like it's a rat loose on the dance floor.

Next comes the competition.....That's when the middle aged men jump out there and try to prove that "they still got it" and show up the old folks who are just turning in circles screaming "thank you Jesus".
Tooooooooooo funny.
Have you ever seen a 45 year old black man, in an Aqua-Blue, 3-piece Suit with matching Gator-skinned boots, trying to do the "holy-spirit" version of the Running-Man.  LMFAO.

This aint the guy in blue, but this gives you an idea of what it looks like. 

But I felt good though.
The music was moving me too.
I looked down and noticed my knee was bouncing up and down like my body was trying to get me dance too. By the time I left the service, I felt like I needed to go home a take a nap from all that stomping and clapping I did.
It was truly a great experience and I can't wait to see who catches the holy spirit next week.

P.S. The guy in the above picture can be seen doing his Damn Thing at the link below........Tooooo Funny.
I mean flips, jukin, fall backs......he does it all
http://youtu.be/7EaI0U1_IW4

Where Does Your Allegiance Lie

A puppy can not nurse on two bitches.........
A dog can not have two masters..........
And A master can not serve two Gods........

You must decide where your loyalty lies. Although, you may love, respect, and honor many things at the same time, your true allegiance can only be to one thing and one thing ONLY.

When I was young, my mother and father taught me about loyalty.
I had two friends who got into a very nasty fight over a girl (of course...they seem to always be at the source of male confrontations, don't they?)
 I was torn between the two of them because they were trying to force me to choose which one of them I was going to continue to hang with. The hatred that these friends had between them, was so substantial that they refused to be within sight of the other.
I really didn't have that many friends at the time, so I wasn't trying to lose either of them.

So I went to my parents and asked them how I was to decide which friend to align myself with, because I didn't know what to do. I was expecting for them to tell me some bullshit about coming together....singing kumbya...not choosing sides .......and continuing to be friends with both of them.....but that's not what they said. I was surprised at what they said to me.

They said:
Parents: Son....Do you know the difference between easy and simple?

Me: huh.....No, I guess not. I thought they were the same.

Parents: Son....Do you know the difference between difficult and hard?

Me: They aren't the same thing??????

Parents: No they are not. DIFFICULT is like solving a very complex math problem, while HARD is like deciding which friend to let go.
Making a DIFFICULT decision is very SIMPLE, choose A or B. But it isn't EASY, because there are consequences to each one, and should not be taken lightly.

Me: So what are you saying?????

Parents: Life is going to be HARD son, but if you are able to determine early-on, what is most important to you.......Then all the decisions you will have to make will be EASY and SIMPLE because all you will have to do is pick the option that best supports what is most important to you.
Determine where your loyalty is. If it is school, then all your decisions should put school first. If it is sports, then all of your decisions should put sports first.

Me: But what if I want to be loyal to both of my friends?

Parents: Then you can try son....but you will fail. Because there will come a day when 1 of your feuding friends decides to do something bad to the other and you will know about it before hand.
If you do nothing, then you have betrayed the friend who is about to be done wrong. If you warn them, then you will betray the friend who was plotting the attack.
You will have to make a decision and will have to chose where your loyalty lies. So why not make the the hard choice now, so that all the future ones will be easy?


Although I didn't understand exactly what they meant at the time, it eventually became clear as day as I grew older.
No matter how faithful you are to the people in your life, if you are not truly LOYAL to 1 person, thing, or ideal, then your life will be filled with HARD choices.
Everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too, but in the end.........you can only have 1.

Hiatus

Well........Ladies and gentleman,
It is with great sadness that I inform you that the 2nd Big Bang is about to hit the "Tales from the Oracle" Blog.

I was hoping to make it to the Century mark and post 100 blogs, but it seems that 92 will have to do.
I see absolutely no point in posting empty garbage topics simply to reach a milestone. I wouldn't bore you like that.
Therefore, I will just end it with this temporary good bye.

Hopefully, I will return with some great material for you and make up for the time that we are going to be apart.
I would like to thank you for the years of faithful patronage. The funny topics that have made us laugh together, and the heartfelt serious obstacles that we have tackled, have helped us grow.
I encourage you to check out the previous 91 post over the next few months and relive those moments until I return.
Continue to send me your topic requests and words of motivation and condemnation.....because I appreciate the honesty in both.

May the worst days of our past, be the best days of our future.
Love, peace, and KFC chicken grease,

 
GTP-OUT......2's

Background Check

When the air is filled with the smell of bar-b-q chicken, ribs, and smoked sausages.......while slow jams are serenading your ears in the background......and you are surrounded by familiar faces that you haven't seen in years.....it can only mean one thing.
It's A FAMILY REUNION.

So this year, we went back to our roots and they hosted the reunion in my mom's home town. It was great food, fun and fellowship as usual.
I wish that I could write about all the hilarious shit that happened down there, but that is family business.

What I can talk about is a conversation we had about Background Checks.
I want to get your personal opinion on this subject (not that it fucking Tatering matters).

So, after learning that one of our family members performed Background Checks on people, one of my cousins stated that he wished he could do Background Checks on everybody before he dated them.
WHY?????

Why, would you want to research every body before you went out with them?
That would take all the fun out of dating, wouldn't it?
So what if they used to be a thieving, homicidal, rapist.........
Can't people change?
How do you know that it all wasn't "a simple mis-understanding"?

So what if they have 6 kids and 3 baby-Mama's or Daddy's.
Maybe they got a chance to get all that out of their systems and now they are ready to settle down and be the type of person you need in your life.....

So what if they have 3 liens on 2 cars and 4 judgements against them in civil court.......
Why in the hell would you want to know that Corvette they are driving ain't theirs and that $200,000 house is 3 weeks from belonging to the bank?????
Ignorance is bliss. Let them drive you around town in that flashy car and spoil you with breakfast in a bed with a flat screen TV on the ceiling.
Worry about that other shit when the repo men get there. Carpe' Diem .

See, if you would have never looked at that Background Check report, you would have enjoyed life for the next 3 weeks...but NOOOOOOOOO,
You had to look at the damn report and judge them, for their past.

I mean, personally, I like to learn new things about people. If you knew everything about someone after the first date, what the hell are you going to talk about on the second one.
And as far as them being some sexual pervert.....who knows.....you might actually like some of that kinky shit.
leather..and shackles...and chains.......OH MY.
.......Just sayin

Embrace Your Fear

4th of July weekend definitely has a way of bringing a sense of excitement into the air. It also takes you back to the time when you were a kid and couldn't wait to play with the fireworks.
Most "responsible" adults, like MY PARENTS, wouldn't let kids play with fireworks without direct, parental, supervision.
Therefore, we were left with no other alternative but to sneak some out of the house when they weren't home.

Fireworks, are awesome. As a matter of fact, they are only a couple of table spoons of gun powder away from being weapons of mass destruction.

So anyway, as with many things that I have done, I learned another valuable lesson in life, while playing with fireworks as a young boy.
Based on the things that I did growing up with firecrackers and small animals, a psychologist might have predicted that I was going to be a psychopathic killer when I grew up......but luckily I was just going through a phase.
At first, I was sooooo afraid of firecrackers. I wouldn't even dare to get close enough to one in order to light it, so my brothers or friends had to do it for me.
As I got more comfortable with them, I became very brave.........Actually, more like beyond brave.....somewhere in the realm of stupidity.

I would take on any dare that someone would give me.......I was the TATERING Evel Knievel, of firecrackers.
So anywho, one day I managed to get my hands on the "illegal" M90 firecracker. I had heard stories about how dangerous these things were, but I laughed in the face of danger and shit on the legacy of the great M90.
First, in order to find out just how powerful the M90 was, we tested it on a frog.

(*********I am unsure about the statute of limitations on animal cruelty crimes, so I will not confirm or deny what happened next......so let's just say that the M90 definitely deserved its reputation*********.)
Now that we had proven that this was the most powerful firecracker ever, I was dared to hold it in my hand, light it, and throw it at the last possible moment, before it would blow off my hand.
Shit, .....I didn't even need a double-dog-dare before I shouted  "give that damn thing....I'll show you".

I don't think I have to even go any further with this story, because you all know exactly what happened.
The lesson that I learned that day, was this:
Fear is a God given mechanism that protects us and keeps us alive. The moment that a person loses his/her fear is the moment they are most susceptible to danger or death.


The moment I lost my fear of firecrackers, was the same time that I lost respect for them and what they could do to me. The most dangerous thing is the one that you respect the least.
The same is true in all aspects of life...........ESPECIALLY WITH PEOPLE.

Embrace your fear,
Let go of disrespect,
And you will survive.

Adam and Eve

So, in case you haven't heard,
A super duper long time ago, there was this guy named Adam, who was all alone on this Earth, so God decided to create him a female companion named Eve.
See Adam and Eve were best of friends and they did everything together. (maybe cause everybody else was busy, right?)

As they got to know each other more and more, Adam began to notice that Eve had an insatiable thirst for information. ****Not Knowledge**** but information. Eve was Nosy as Hell.
(I guess Hell was not a good word for this story....Replace with:Shit)

She was always gossiping about which deer was sneaking off with the gazelles and where in the world did the donkey come from. There weren't any donkey's there the previous year.

It was this extreme case of curiosity and nosiness that got them kicked out the Garden of Eden.
She just had to know more about that Damn apple, didn't she?
The snake said that he had the inside track on some secrets about the apple tree and she couldn't resist not knowing.

So ladies all over the world, I want you to know that it isn't your fault that you all have an insatiable thirst for information.
It is in your DNA and has always been a part of the estrogen hormone.

That is the reason that you can not help yourselves when a gossip talk show comes on TV......or a drama filled reality show comes on.
You find yourselves glued to the TV screen, with your mouth wide open, thinking......" Oh no, she didn't".
You can't get enough of NBA housewives can you?
Or
The Real World....TMZ......or Better yet, the Wendy Williams Show.
There is something about drama and scandal that attracts women like flies to shit.
Most women understand and accept their condition, because there is no point in trying to fight it. It's like a vampire telling themselves that they don't like blood.........You can't fight the urge.

But never fear, because Adam loved Eve unconditionally and followed her even when he knew she was wrong.
And they suffered the same fate together and equally.
For better or worst,
Richer or poorer,
In sickness and in health,
Tell death do them part,

But just keep in mind, that the next time Adam say's "....you know Eve....honey, darling.......     Maybe this time we should mind our business and leave this tree alone"
You might want to consider listening to him. Cause your fate, is also his.

Don't Forget To Tip Your Waiter

 VS.  

Many of my friends are very ...........ummmm, let's just say Conservative, when it comes to tipping people for their services.

A common excuse is that "it's their job and they are already charging me for what I ordered......why should I give them extra money for doing what they are already being paid to do?"

Tips are exactly what they are supposed to be........EXTRA.

There is nothing more humble and honorable than to serve another person. It's all through the bible and our history.....of course some service wasn't so voluntary.

By leaving a tip, you will make a small or large impact in someones day.

Although I am a proponent of leaving good tips for good service, I know a special person who tips big no matter how good or bad the service is.

Apparently, they believe that when someone gives you bad service, it is because they have stereotyped you as not a good tipper, or they are having a terrible day. Either way, when you leave a bad server a good tip, it can alter their previous assumptions about you or completely turn their terrible day into a brighter one.

As I read on someones Facebook page the other day...."Karma is a bitch....just get out of the way and let her do her job".

When you release good into the universe.......Good will be returned to you.

So next time you are served by another, try to leave a nice tip.........besides "Your Onion Rings Suck" (Micheal White).