Coming To America

My favorite movie in the entire world is none other than "Coming To America". I mean......it was a taterin classic.
Eddie Murphy was amazing (all 3 or 4 characters he played).
So recently, I had the opportunity to go back to Africa for a visit. Getting there was no problem.....however, getting back was a true adventure.

The flight over the Atlantic Ocean is like 11.5 hours, which doesn't include the time it takes you to get to the Atlanta International air port from your respective city.
For someone like myself, who is ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), sitting still in a small chair for 11.5 hours is like being buried alive in an underground coffin......needless to say "it sucks".

My adventure back to America began with African Airport Security.
You know how Americans bitch and complain about how violated they are when they have to allow a machine to x-ray their bodies naked?????
Well over there, they don't have machines that do that..........
So they do it themselves.......BY HAND.

While I was in line about to be searched (for the 3rd time), I saw this lady in front of me getting searched....
O....M.....(Taterin)....G
I couldn't believe how thorough they were searching that woman.
I was almost compelled to start whistling and throwing out dollar bills for the hot girl on girl action that appeared to be going on in front of me.
Shit.....if she could fit a bomb in those places, she would be Houdini.

So after making it through the numerous levels of security with at least half of my manhood still in tact, I finally boarded the plane and was set to return home.
We made a stop in Accra, Ghana to pick up additional passengers, in order to make sure the airline made as much money in one flight as possible (blood suckers).

As fate would have it, the plane had some mechanical issues and after 6 hours of sitting on the runway, we were eventually deboarded and forced to leave the airport without our luggage. That means, No change of clothes, no toiletries, no phone chargers, ect.
So when we re boarded 20+ hours later, it was understandable that everyone wasn't smelling quite so rosy fresh.
It was hotter than an old school Chevy, sittin on chrome, with 1 nigga, 2 Mexicans, and 3 kilos in the trunk...........That's pretty damn hot huh? (woop-woop, there go da po-po's)

Finally, we were in the air and all was good. I had the A/C on, my headphones on blast, and endless movies playing on the private tv screens. It was a pretty cool ride back.

Someone forgot to send me the taterin memo that Memphis was covered in snow, so I was freezing my ass off in shorts and a damn Hawaiian shirt when I stepped outside terminal to hitch a ride home.

I only told you 15% of my trip, because I know you fuckers are ADD too and I didn't want to lose you. Holla at me when you see me and I will tell you the rest.

2's

Making Seven an Even Number

This is probably the 1st of my last 7 blogs. Words can be a strong weapon, and once you release them, they can never truly be taken back. Only sugar-coated and blamed on emotions.

After many traumatic situations in my life over the past year, I have finally understood what God has been telling me the whole time. There may have been times in everyones life when they knew that it was only by the grace of God that they are still here today.
In all things you do, remember this:
"Do what is right; then if men speak against you, calling you evil names, they will become ashamed of themselves for falsely accusing you when you have only done what is good. Remember, if God wants you to suffer, it is better to suffer for doing good than for doing wrong! Christ also suffered. He died once for the sins of all us guilty sinners, although he himself was innocent of any sin at any time, that he might bring us safely home to God" 1 Peter 3:16-18.

Life is too short to hold grudges against any person.
Someone who I have always held in the highest regards showed me that true power is having the power to let go.
As much as a I thought about traveling the paved road that others have laid before me, I can not be upset that I haven chosen the least traveled, as the right one.

If you can not accept responsibility for your own wrong doings then you have not acheived true maturity.
The easiest act in life is to lie......it is almost natural when you consider the nature of self-preservation.
The hardest act is to tell the truth.....and accept the consequences of those actions.

I would rather go into battle at the side of an honest coward, than that of a lying hero.
Don King was always in Mike Tyson's corner......until he got his ass knocked the fuck out.
..........On to the next one....huh?

I may not always have a bed to sleep on,,,,,,,,but I will always have a clear concious when I lay my head down....even if the floor is ice cold.