Coming To America

My favorite movie in the entire world is none other than "Coming To America". I mean......it was a taterin classic.
Eddie Murphy was amazing (all 3 or 4 characters he played).
So recently, I had the opportunity to go back to Africa for a visit. Getting there was no problem.....however, getting back was a true adventure.

The flight over the Atlantic Ocean is like 11.5 hours, which doesn't include the time it takes you to get to the Atlanta International air port from your respective city.
For someone like myself, who is ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), sitting still in a small chair for 11.5 hours is like being buried alive in an underground coffin......needless to say "it sucks".

My adventure back to America began with African Airport Security.
You know how Americans bitch and complain about how violated they are when they have to allow a machine to x-ray their bodies naked?????
Well over there, they don't have machines that do that..........
So they do it themselves.......BY HAND.

While I was in line about to be searched (for the 3rd time), I saw this lady in front of me getting searched....
O....M.....(Taterin)....G
I couldn't believe how thorough they were searching that woman.
I was almost compelled to start whistling and throwing out dollar bills for the hot girl on girl action that appeared to be going on in front of me.
Shit.....if she could fit a bomb in those places, she would be Houdini.

So after making it through the numerous levels of security with at least half of my manhood still in tact, I finally boarded the plane and was set to return home.
We made a stop in Accra, Ghana to pick up additional passengers, in order to make sure the airline made as much money in one flight as possible (blood suckers).

As fate would have it, the plane had some mechanical issues and after 6 hours of sitting on the runway, we were eventually deboarded and forced to leave the airport without our luggage. That means, No change of clothes, no toiletries, no phone chargers, ect.
So when we re boarded 20+ hours later, it was understandable that everyone wasn't smelling quite so rosy fresh.
It was hotter than an old school Chevy, sittin on chrome, with 1 nigga, 2 Mexicans, and 3 kilos in the trunk...........That's pretty damn hot huh? (woop-woop, there go da po-po's)

Finally, we were in the air and all was good. I had the A/C on, my headphones on blast, and endless movies playing on the private tv screens. It was a pretty cool ride back.

Someone forgot to send me the taterin memo that Memphis was covered in snow, so I was freezing my ass off in shorts and a damn Hawaiian shirt when I stepped outside terminal to hitch a ride home.

I only told you 15% of my trip, because I know you fuckers are ADD too and I didn't want to lose you. Holla at me when you see me and I will tell you the rest.

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