I know by the title you thought I was going to be talking about some awesome Head action....Huh?
Sorry to disappoint you, but I am talking about an old friend of mine who I recently bumped into. Me and Killa B.J. go back all the way to 1993. We used to be competitive at every thing.....basketball, collecting cards, job hours......tatering everything.
We haven't spoken in years and he called me out the blue a few weeks ago and let told me how much he enjoyed reading my blogs.
If you haven't noticed, I haven't posted a new blog in ...........I don't know, A long ass time.
I have had a lot to write about but I really didn't feel like putting the shit out there. Killa B.J. motivated me to keep on, keeping on.......if not for myself,.........then for the people who read my shit.
So, here is the next blog.
At the corner of Winchester and Riverdale there is a homeless lady who sings and dances every day for donations to her next crack party. I saw her again today...(Christmas) and she was soooo happy to be out there performing for all of her adoring fans.
See, I was raised to take pride in what I do.......no matter what the Tater it is that I do.
If I sweep floors, then be the best damn floor sweeper that has walked the face of this Earth.
Apparently, she was raised the same way, cause home girl was dancing her ass off like she was auditioning for America's Got Talent or some shit like that.
A crackhead is like a loyal pitbull.......
They will be down for you no matter what you do.
(As long as you provide them with their life line........Crack)
Unlike drug dealers, I offer my wonderful crackheads a substance that is just as addictive as crack....Jesus Christ
I wish I had a few dollars so that I could have contributed to her next GFU session (Get Fucked Up), but I didn't. But deep inside, I knew she understood that I appreciated her performance when I stuck my head out the window and shouted........"Go Shawty......its your Birthday......Whoop .....Whoop"
How do I know????????
I don't know.....maybe by the way she took her wig off and waved it at me, screaming........."Hey Fat Daddy....Merry Christmas Baby".
But what really made me appreciate her was when I pulled up to the next light (only about 100ft away).
There was this homeless guy at the intersection looking all grimy and holding a sign saying "Homeless and Hungry".
Normally, that would almost jerk a tear (NOT) and cause me to donate to his next 40oz of beer, but after seeing the b**** at the previous light bust a move like the Jackson 5, I felt like this guy was "Gold Bricking" (Gold Bricking= putting forth the minimun effort to get by and nothing more).
From now on, If you aint putting on some kind of Broadway Stage production.......and you want me to give you some money........you are gonna be S.O.L. (Shit out of Luck).
So you can consider this a Public Service Announcement......
If you Hungry, Homeless, and Hopeless, and you want me to give you some money........
You gonna have to bust a Mother Tatering Move.
If BoomSheeka at the corner of Winchester and Riverdale can take enough pride at what she does and go "HAM" at begging by putting on a decent performance, then you need to invest a little bit of time as well.
That lame ass"need money" sign shit is sooooooo 2010.
You need to upgrade.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.......(The key word being NEW........impress me)
I know the U.S. Dollar has declined in value, but I know a few people on Third Street who appreciate a Dollar......
So If you want to stand at an intersection and hold up a sign and expect money.........
You might want to consider putting together an impressive routine.....
Otherwise, I'm taking my business to Winchester and Riverdale.
Call me what you want......but, don't you dare call me "Collect...........Bi-atch"
GTP....out
Merry Christmas......Nicka
......I See you BoomSheeka.......Whoop ....Whoop....If I could afford some beads, I would get you some
But times is hard.
.LOL
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